Condolence: These are the words I shared about Dad. Thank you to everybody who supported us through this time and continue to do so.

My father is gone.

When Dad was in his prime he was a complicated man. He was always walking the line between having fun and doing the right thing. There is so much I have realized about Dad as I have grown up and had children of my own, I see him in such a different light than I did as a child or even as a young adult. It always struck me how he was so hard on us as kids, but he always seemed to have so much fun whenever we had guests at the house. I can now see that he was trying to hold himself and his family to a high standard. He always wanted us to put our best foot forward. But at the same time, he loved guests, people and family.

Dad was an avid reader who loved his horror books. He had a vast vocabulary and loved using his knowledge on crossword puzzles or in long discussions. I remember staying up nights watching one science fiction movie after another with him. He loved his movies and he loved sharing them with his children. When I was young Dad decided to coach my Odyssey of the Mind team and saved that program at my high school. Dad had a great sense of humor and it seemed he could strike up a conversation with anybody. He was an active member of the Knights of Columbus and his church.

Dad and I didn’t always see eye to eye. I spent most of my youth thinking I wasn’t good enough for him. It took me having children of my own to understand. He was hard on my brothers and I because he saw so much potential in us. He loved us deeply and he wanted the best for us. He wanted us to push for the best in ourselves, and when we were lazy or youthful in that pursuit, he pushed us to do better, not for him, but for ourselves.

I thank you Dad for all you pushed me to become.
Dad did many things in his lifetime, he worked in banking, but didn’t like the sitting still or the office politics of that profession. For most of his life he was an elevator mechanic like his father before him. He eventually went on to become a state inspector and he loved his job. Dad worked hard days and many nights to support his family and as he moves on he leaves behind my mother Kathy and my 3 brothers Eric, Adam and Matt. We will all miss you Dad. We will miss your pushing us to do better for ourselves, your circular arguments, sorry, your discussions, your pride and your love.

At the end of his life Dad was stricken with Alzheimer’s disease and his journey out of this life was a long bit by bit decline. My mother, Kathy has been an angel, as she will tell you all nurses are, or at least the good ones. She has stood by his side throughout his life and through his decline. Thank you, Mom, for all that you have done. Your strength and perseverance are an inspiration. My brother, Adam and his wife Cayce, have been there for my Mother and Father as much as possible considering all he has been through. Their friendship and companionship to both Mom and Dad has been, not only a blessing to them, but it has made Matt, Eric, and I sleep better at night knowing they were there.

I tried looking up poems to say goodbye to dad and I couldn’t find the right one. Instead I will relate one story and have that be my closing. Before I do, I need to remind you all that Dad hated hospitals, which is why it was so important that he was at home with his family when he passed.

When I was young, I wasn’t much of a driver. One time, on the way to pick up my girlfriend, Sara, I was speeding down a country road and I came across a farm truck taking up a bit more than half the road. I swerved back and forth and ended up going through a fence and in the middle of a cow field. An ambulance was called, and I went to the hospital to get checked out. I was scared and nervous and feeling stupid and all the great stuff that comes with the screwups of youth. I will never forget when Dad walked into the hospital room. That was something considering how much he loved hospitals. Dad leaned down into the hospital bed and hugged me. He didn’t yell or get mad, he just held me, hard. That embrace and the feeling of his whiskers on my cheek have stuck with my entire life. I felt his relief that I was OK, but more than that, I felt his unconditional love.

Dad, you have been fighting for so long now, I hope you can finally relax and rest. I hope you feel that same love that you shared with me. I love you dad. You go rest now.

Condolence: Today, I learned that your family is mourning the loss of Bernard.Please accept my condolences and be assured that almighty God is certainly aware of your painful feelings. May God comfort and sustain you to get through this day and others to come (Isa 41:13). Wishing your family all the best at this most difficult period.

Condolence: Our thoughts and prayers are with you Kathy. He was so lucky to have such a wonderful and caring family to surround him during his time of need. So sorry for your loss, Karen